nannygoat

To the Beach!

and back again...

Finally dragged Art to the beach... quite willingly actually, as it was part of the festivities of our second annual reunion with Peach's adoption group. There were sandcastles to be built, boats to watch, seaweed and tar on feet to be dealt with... and sand galore.

And so I ask, as I must, how could a man clearly having this much fun not like the beach!?!

The good news?

We're going back again in June. (A HA! Ba Ba really does like it!)

As for how the 29 kids in Peach's adoption group are faring... they're all, well... simply delightful. And seeing 19 or 20 of them together again was more heartwarming than anyone outside of this group could ever know.

(click pic to see Peach in polka dots swimming with her China buddies)

Who am I

I am a GRANDDAUGHTER, said Peach.

Just this past week, at 2 years and 10 months, Peach made this declaration. Suddenly, she appears to be actually UNDERSTANDING relationships and the various people in her life, as opposed to simply using the "labels" (names) that we give to people. She tilted her head in a tickled sort of way to learn that Nani is MY mommy, but HER grandmother. That Nana is DADDY'S mom, but HER "other grandmother." And she gets it that Elle is her sister (and no, she is not going back to China), and that I am Elle's mom AS WELL AS her mom. I wonder if this grasping of relationships, and lots of conversations about them, means that she is emerging from the totally ego-centric baby stage...

In any event. We had 2 grandmamas (Nani and Nana) in 2 weeks, and both girls are still swimming in all that center-of-the-universe love.

Baseball

fans...

Papa is one happy man whenever one of his girls curls up so enthusiastically, so dog-gone eagerly to catch a game with him.

(click pic to see 4th inning stats: Papa up 1; Elle... OUT)

Catch me

if you can...

Seems to be the game of the day. Peach has been waking so early (5:30am today)... perhaps because Nani is here and she can't wait to creep into the room next to hers and WAKE UP NANI!... or maybe she really has adopted one of my traits. Anyhoo. We're all running from early, early morn til late at night.

Wait.

Everyone else is sleeping. Why am I still up? Am I the only one on this treadmill? Trying to catch up... with everything. All at once.

Hmmm...

Here's an easy blog post: more pics of darling Elle.

When they placed you in my arms...

you slipped into my heart.

Finally getting Elle's (aka FuChun's) annnouncements out in the mail... only one month and 5 days after returning from China with her...

They are simple and "homemade" and even the insert which I left up to Kinko's came out slightly off center. Oh well... the best of intentions. But I do love the line about slipping into my heart. It's something I read on an adoption board years ago and have never quite been able to get out of my head.

Difficult to choose just one picture, so I printed a variety and am using different pictures on the card fronts as I work my production line. This one is on most of the cards:

Do I Dare

Revisit this blog... after a TWO month hiatus? How would I ever get caught up? When would I ever upload and organize all of my pictures? We've lived a lifetime in these last 60+ days and I'm quite frankly not sure where to begin.

But, I'll try.

For tonight, just this: our little FuChun has gone from A to B so seemingly effortlessly, and in such a strikingly beautiful way that Art and I are once again (as we were two years ago with Peach) walking around with mouths gaping open, in awe of this mere 18 pounds of glorious human being... amazed to be so blessed (twice), and a bit astounded by our capacity to love so unequivocally, so with-all-of-my-being... so quickly.

Need I say we are over the moon.

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Dancing Queens

Last night after dinner at a local cowboy joint with friends Matt and Cheryl and their little chica, we came back to the house and immediately, the girls were seized by the urge to dance like lunnies in their skivvies to this classic!  And DANCE they did.  I mean to tell you they danced until the cows came home... until they wore themselves out, and finally curled up under a blanket for half an hour of Jungle Book.  I wonder... does life get any better when you are two?

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Pipsqueaks!

My nannygoat-maternal-I-want-to-go-to-China-NOW instincts have gone into overdrive.  We have unconfirmed news that we will travel to China on March 13, arriving in (freezing cold) Beijing on the 15th, then on to (hot and humid) Guangzhou, then eventually on to Wuhan to get to FuChun by March 21.  So... 16 days (hopefully) until blast off, and there are DOZENS of very legitimate things I need to be doing (like filling out Montessori paperwork and making pediatrician appointments and hauling out our suitcases and making lots of lists and figuring out what exactly to take for a family of four about to hit two very different climates), and instead what I am thinking about are all the darling sweaters in Pipsqueaks and wondering if I could get yarn for 2 of these and if even THINKING about knitting sweaters is just way too ambitious and weird of me, especially since I have NEVER ACTUALLY KNIT A SWEATER.

Maybe this is quasi-nesting behavior (i.e., wanting to make a "cozy" for each of my little girls = normal mama goat behavior)?  Maybe this is stress-paralysis behavior (i.e., I can't possibly do everything I need/want/should do in the next 2 and a half weeks and so... I'll just do something else...)?

In any event.  I WILL knit sweaters for Peach and FuChun before the year is over.  Mark my words.  Progress reports to follow.  (how can a woman who calls herself nannygoat deny the desire to knit little English schoolgirl cotton cardigan sweaters named Mimi and Maisie?)

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Yesterday while I waited in line at Jamba! (how could anyone not love a Jamba after a long day at work/school) and Peach sat so nicely at a table all by herself oogling over a huge glass vase of tulips, I was struck by how lucky I am to have a daughter.  I've loved her to pieces since the day she was placed in my arms.  I've marvelled at her development and cheered her every step of the way.  Like any mom, I've stayed up late and woken early and slept sitting up and worried and fretted and cried and ached over her, and even welcomed the realization that I will continue to do these things for years and years and years to come.  But lately, how utterly moving it is to watch this very real, very individual person emerging... to feel my own heart bursting through my chest when I catch an unexpected glimpse of her... and how genuinely lucky I feel.

So after 3 sips of the fabulous $4.00 orange-creamsicle fruit tootie Jamba concoction that I got for her, she looked at me and said: "no don't like dat."  My pipsqueak wanted plain old apple juice.  How could anyone not love a Jamba?

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Drip

Drip.  Quack.  Quack.

It's now something like the 4th wettest year in California's history and I'm ready to holler "uncle."  Enough already.  I spent most of the first 30 years of my life in Pennsylvania, waiting for the sun to come out and I fail (Really. FAIL.) to see the humor in all of this rain... in all of the mudslides, the flooding... the crankiness that has begun to show itself in all sorts of normally nice people... 

Bleh.

No travel news yet and so in addition to the too much rain blues, I've got the I-need-to-get-to-China blues.  FuChun's face is now a permanent fixture in my mind and I'm starting to get overly anxious about when we're going to get to her.  I have no concerns about packing or any of the dozens of things that need to be done before we take off.  I just want to go and get her into my arms... like NOW.

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Perfect

Madness. 

I have been plugging this book (though I haven't yet even got my own sticky fingers on it) to everyone in my address book who is a parent.  Author Judith Warner hits the nail so very right on the head about what is wrong and weird about the way some people are raising their children today.  Along with it, a fascinating article in Psychology Today about a "nation of wimps" found its way to me and I've been forwarding that on too...

Whew.  They both say it more adeptly than I can.  Several issues at stake here.  First is the lack of government-backed, quality programs (e.g., day care, after school care, AFFORDABLE help) that would make it possible for more (mostly) women to pursue "energies" outside of, or in addition to, parenting.  Whether women want to work, or need to work... or want to write great novels or cure breast cancer... is really beside the point.  There's a crisis in America that makes it impossible for many people to live fully, to move forward, to make a better tomorrow.

Next, from the opposite end of the spectrum, lies the upper middle class with an ever expanding, weird need for validation via kids.  First they have kids, then they succomb to the "if my kids are perfect/happy/pretty/OK... then I am OK too" syndrome.  It's these folks who are signing their kids up for everything under the sun in hopes that daily exposure to music class and tumble class and story class and soccer tots and standardized test tutors and the "right" preschool and kiddie yoga will make Babycakes more well-rounded, thereby proving once and for all that by golly they are GOOD parents.  Good luck.  Of course there is merit in an activity or two. (Isn't there?) I AM GUILTY myself of just recently calling a ballet studio about classes for my two and a half year old (note: I made a PHONE CALL; I did not sign her up for anything); the same two and a half year old who attends a Montessori school. 

It just seems not to matter anymore - or at least to matter less - that unstructured running around in the backyard and playing in the dirt and eating a little grass now and then, is not only better for Babycakes, but for mum too.

[note: we are off to the backyard today!]

Then, the Psychology Today article which is really too sensitive for me to comment on here... but... there's this proliferation of learning disability LABELS out there today, and parents RACING to find labels for their kids to explain every naturally occuring difference in learning, comprehension and quite frankly IQ. Hello, people. We are not all the same. And we don't all, won't ever all, learn at the same level, in the same way, or to the same degree. This used to be common knowledge, and it used to be called l-i-f-e. Why have we become a nation of parents so doggedly intent on saddling our children with all of these LD labels?

I'm not a social commentator and can't do an iota of justice to writing about any of these issues.  I'm thankful, however, for those who do, like Judith Warner, and will do my part to spread the word.  And (gasp!) PA-leeeze let me know the minute you think I and veering down the weirdo path with my own kids...

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In other news, last night I dreamed that Mary Lee K. sent a card to me.  I can't remember the details, except that the envelope was blue and she was writing to say she had gotten "the news." 

Mary died in 2001.  She was a French horn player and music teacher and very good friend of Art's.  Just before she died (too early, at 52 from spinal cancer) she finished her Ph.D. in music.  She was also a cross stitch and needlepoint pro, and big fan (as are we) of Salzburg, Austria.  Mary was an all-around GOOD person and gracious woman.

She loved Art, I know, and was probably relieved in the way that a big sister would be, when he and I married (relieved that he would not be alone any more).  And I know in my heart how she would have absolutely SWOONED over Peach coming into our lives, and would have LOVED knowing that FuChun is on her way.  And surely, one day, she would have taught at least one of our girls to play the horn, and would have delighted both of them each year with her enormous Christmas tree laden with hundreds of horn decorations.

So last night?  Was she was just letting me know... that she knows about the red threads?

At 4:00 this afternoon during a break in our relentless February rain, I opened the dining room window to this (click pic).

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And finally, speaking of red threads...  Just found out about the Red Scarf Project underway by another red thread mom and am wondering if I might actually be able to make one in time to send it on...  What a great idea.

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Generous

spirits move the earth...

Today, Lisa A. and her 3 beautiful girls (ages 8, 6 and 3.5... all from China) came for lunch.  Lisa called a few days ago to tell me that she'd heard we got our referral for FuChun, and that she had "something" for us...

Two years ago, before I'd ever even met Lisa, she sent home with Art one night after a symphony rehearsal, THE most amazing quilt, made by her own two hands... for we who hardly knew her, in celebration of our new baby.  I keep this quilt over a chair in the dining room and frequently tell people about the amazing woman who made it for us.

So... when she called to tell me that she had something for us, I had to wonder...

And sure enough.  Here came Lisa up the walk today with ANOTHER amazing quilt for us.  How does she do it?  She is a full-time teacher and part-time musician with a home, husband, 3 kids and 2 dogs.  How does she find the time to make a quilt for US?  And what a quilt.  The Chinese "sisters" fabric is so cute I can hardly stand it. (click these pics!)

I feel inadequate... but mostly totally bowled over by her generous spirit.  Talk about a random act of kindness.

Art once told me that his musician colleagues (as compared to his academia colleagues) are truly in a league of their own.  The "best people" he always says.  And he has been playing with them for about 35 years now, so he knows of which he speaks.

Lisa A. is a harpist.  Figures.  A real live angel.

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Beach Babe

Finally... a brief chance to catch up with NJo yesterday.  We haven't seen each other since her Mikey was about 2 weeks old, and Mikey will turn 3 in just a few weeks... so... OVERDUE on a good, long visit is putting it mildly.

Anyway, she is here on THIS coast, staying at sister Mikey's ("big" Mikey) and Peach and I took off yesterday morning for a visit with them.  Lots of "firsts."  First time for that crowd to meet Peach, first time for me to meet gorgeous little David and to actually see Mikey the vibrant toddler, and first time to see (big) Mikey's new house at the beach.  The kids are all wonderful (including Jake and Elle who must be the nicest 9 and 11 year olds I've ever spent 3 hours with) and the new house in Hermosa Beach is oh.  my.  god. TO-DIE for.  The visit was way too short as I was obsessed with hitting the road before the Friday traffic got too bad.  I blew it.  It ended up taking us 3.5 hours to drive home... a distance that should have taken us 1.5 hours sans traffic.  Lovely southern California for ya.

ANYWAY.  All was good except that I don't feel like NJo and I had a chance to really catch up.  I wish Peach and I had stayed longer... that after our playtime at the beach, instead of dashing off like we did, that we adults had put the little ones down for naps, hauled out a bottle of wine and had a "real" visit.

We've been friends since we were 5, but have lived in different cities and/or on different coasts for most of the last 20 years.  I'm sure our friendship will survive these early parenthood (read: frazzled) years... just wish we could do even "quickie" visits a little more frequently...

Our girls are only about 4 months apart so it's fun already to compare stories and watch them grow.  Show us your bellies girls! (clic pics to enlarge)

How'd we both end up with such beeyooties?

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On the way home, while sitting in very sloooooow moving traffic for over 3 hours yesterday, IN THE RAIN, while Peach snoozed in the backseat (thank you sunshine and sea air) I kept wishing I had a knitting project with me...  I could easily have been working on my current kiwi-colored to-be-felted bag.  I was so rushed to get out the door in the a.m. that it never occured to me to grab my knitting bag.  NEXT TIME! 

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OK.  Can I just get this on the record: fashionable speaking, I want to live inside of the Garnet Hill catalog.  I love EVERY item in the latest catalog.  "One of these days" I really will give what's left of my wardrobe to Goodwill and start over, top to bottom, tres goatably here!  OK.  Had to get that out because the catalog is sitting here DIStracting me.

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Anyway... since I couldn't knit on the way home, I listened to the only thing worth listening to on the radio and fantasized about living at the beach one day.  Maybe?  When Papa is semi-retired and teaches just one or two days a week... I think I might have a shot at talking him into a move to the beach, especially given the fact that if we lived there, we'd have much easier access to all kinds of music and this!  The real problem, of course, is being able to afford even 500 square feet near this...

I am a beach babe at heart.  As such, I am frequently ASTOUNDED at how little time I spend there.  Land-locked inland and kept from the beach by too much traffic, I suppose.  Plus Art is not actually a beach enthusiast (therein lies the problem).  Though I think Peach could be a beach babe... and maybe FuChun will be too... and maybe we three girls can use our girl-power to convince Art to take us, at the very least, on a beach vacation this summer (HINT HINT!)... so we can dig big holes in the sand and chase waves... and take long, sea-induced afternoon naps.

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p.s. From Garnett Hill (in addition to all of the legitimate, fabulous clothes): shearling lined flip flops!  Are you kidding me?  Why didn't I think of this?!